You may have signed a lot of contracts in your early days while you were single from your ID card, dissertation papers, Bank account cheque-book etc. These may have seemed like an everyday stuff to you because they would keep coming back and back to you for approval.
When we talk of a marriage, this is once in a lifetime situation where it would only ask once of you to sign its document. Every girl dreams of getting married and to become a bride one day. Islam has perfectly chartered out a marriage contract known as “NIKAH NAMA” which is responsible to place two Muslim bodies(male and female) in a holy union that would bind them in marriage and it’s the only legal process of getting married as being a Muslim.
The importance of Nikah Nama not only lays with the legality of a marriage but also it provides a woman her own beneficial rights that she can state in the nikah nama and claim them after marriage. Often girls are too careless to even pay heed to what even the nikkah nama holds, for they only are too self-indulgent for posing for the camera and getting their best shots taken with their feather decorated pen and heavy make-up. Wake up girls, if you don’t know what Islam is granting you and won’t claim those rights…we ask who will? Every girl should study the nikah nama before their marriage, this is a request we ask of from every girl. You need those rights because marriage isn’t all about prince charming and happy endings, no one knows what the future holds and it’d be in your best interest instead of wavering off those rights like a yesterday news… PLEASE read your nikah nama.
Following are the 5 things you should be penning down in your Nikah Nama
1. Haq Mehar:
The first clause (Clause 13-16) that we would like to bring every girl attention towards is related to her basic essential right that Islam has beautifully conceptualized. Yes, we are talking about Haq-Mehar which is a gift that is given to the woman by her husband.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4:
And give the women (on marriage) their dower (mehr) as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.
Haq-Mehar is something that won’t be spared at all and must be written down. The amount of Haq-Mehar is processed in two ways:
- The groom offers a haq-mehar settlement to which the bride accepts.
- The bride demands the haq-mehar to which the groom accepts.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3206 Narrated by Amir ibn Rabi’ah
A woman of the Banu Fazarah was married for a dower of two sandals. When Allah’s Messenger (SAWS) asked whether she was satisfied with two sandals regarding her person and her property and she replied that she was, he (SAWS) gave his approval.
Book 8, Number 3316:
Sahl b. Sa’d al-Sa’idi (Allah be pleased with him) reported: A woman came to Allah’s Messenger. (may peace be upon him) and said: Messenger of Allah, I have come to you to entrust myself to you(you may contract my marriage with anyone at your discretion). Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) saw her and cast a glance at her from head to foot. Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) then lowered his head. When the woman saw that he had made no decision in regard to her, she sat down. There stood up a person from amongst his companions and said: Messenger of Allah, marry her to me if you have no need of her.
He (the Holy Prophet) said: is there anything with you (which you can give as a dower)? He said: No, Messenger of Allah, by Allah I have nothing. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Go to your people (family) and see if you can find something. He returned and said: I have found nothing. The Apostle of Allah (may peace be upon him) said: See even if it is an Iron ring. He went and returned and said: No, by God, not even an iron ring, but only this lower garment of mine (Sahl said that he had no upper garment), half of which (I am prepared to part with) for her.
Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: How can your lower garment serve your purpose, for it you wear it, she would not be able to make any use of it and if she wears it there would not be anything on you? The man sat down and as the sitting prolonged he stood up (in disappointment) and as he was going back Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) commanded (him) to be called back, and as he came, he said to him: Do you know any part of the Qur’an? He said: I know such and such surahs (and he counted them). whereupon he said: Can you recite them from the heart (from your memory)? He said: Yes, whereupon he (Allah’s Messenger) said: Go, I have given her to you in marriage for the part of the Qur’an which you know.
2. Special Terms:
The second notable point which is Clause 17 is aimed at pinning down any kind or type of condition you’d like to place on your husband upon free will. Many women are scared of entering marriages these days because of the on-going stories of men their wives after unification. Well, if you want to live your life under Shariah Law, Clause 17 comes at your service by allowing you to put forth any special term or request you want for yourself after marriage. This could be from doing a job, asking your husband to pay you a monthly allowance and etc. The terms that will be written down must be within the borders of Shariah Law and must not be any unnecessary demand that can’t be followed up or is going to tie your husband’s hands after marriage.
Getting married may seem like a never-ending unification but reality strikes you hard when you and your husband don’t get along together. Although making it work should be your end struggle but living a tiresome marriage isn’t enforced upon you.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
The Prophet (saws) said: Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.
As much as sacred marriage is meant to last forever, many marriages aren’t meant to last forever… In this situation what can a girl do, if a husband owns the right to divorce her wife you must wonder may a wife be allowed to divorce her husband? The answer is Yes. Clause 18 jumps right here where you girls can legally divorce your husband and get your Haq-Mehar alongside with it. Khula and Talaq-e-Tafweez are two separate entities and must not be intertwined with one another.
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) deserted his wives for a period of around one month, after which the above verse was revealed.
Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates:
“When the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) was commanded to give an option (of divorce) to his wives, he started with me saying: “I am going to mention to you a matter in which you should not (decide) hastily until you have consulted your parents.” She (A’isha) said that he already knew that my parents would never instruct me to seek separation from him. She said: “Then he said: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, said: “O Prophet, say to your wives: If it be that you desire the life of this World, and its glitter, then come! I will provide for your enjoyment and set you free in a handsome manner. But if you seek Allah and His Messenger, and the Home of the Hereafter, verily Allah has prepared for the well-doers amongst you a great reward.” Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) says that I said to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace): “About this should I consult my parents, for I desire Allah and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter?” She (A’isha) said: “Then all the wives of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) did as I had done.”
(Sahih Muslim, no. 1475)
Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) also narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) gave us the option (m: to remain with him or to be divorced), so we chose (and preferred) Allah and His Messenger. Giving us that option was not regarded as a divorce.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4962)
4. Conditions on Divorce
While keeping in mind that a woman’s right to divorce would be carried out the same way as if your husband was to divorce you with getting all the Haq–Mehar back to yourself, khula would be going through court and giving your Haq-Mehar up as well as any other settlement associated with it. We remind all girls, in the nikah nama, there is another clause that would help you settle your terms and conditions if there is a day to ever come that your husband is the one who initiates the divorce. YES, you can specify all details and conditions that you would like to get in return if your husband throws you out of marriage. So start thinking ladies, what justifiable conditions are needed to be met when you are the one being divorced.
5. Permission of Second Marriage
After marriage, there is no promise that your husband would stay loyal to you. It has been seen that divorces and second marriages have taken quite a speed and you just can’t stop questioning yourself if “your” husband might ever sway away from you and would want a second marriage if that ever happens what will you do? Well, it is easy, just don’t allow your husband to re-marry without your permission. As being a girl, not only are you allowed to divorce your husband but you can easily not allow your husband to get married again with any other girl and have him all to yourself. Clause 21 bounds a man and restricts him to remarry per his will. Under the Muslim Family Law Ordinance 1961, he is obligated to show proof of his existing wife’s permission in order to re-marry or else he’s just stuck with you.